I are actually Baffoon

10 06 2008


The long awaited prequel to the second sequel is here. But we might just decide to scrap the prequel to the third sequel which itself might be scrapped. On that note you might want to visit http://itsscrapped.blogspot.com ( Kutty pay my part of the rent for the first month 🙂

Now, the Kais… let us call them Calls from now on just to avoid copyright violation of greek alphabet for …well.. some ..many physical and mathematical quantities. I was majorly enthu about these calls and since S.P.A.C.E was not quite active in the place where i was.. well lets call it..say…IIT Madras. So I had to go in for another program to work on my GDPI skills. The company calls itself … say.. “Algorithm to calculate the route from one place to another”. As it turns out it wasn’t really a company, was just a single person ( As the Great Sultan put it “Singam Singleaa thaan varum”). This person..lets call him TR.. lived and took classes in a shady locale near IITM called G.H.E.L ( short for Go To Hell). And to actually give you an idea of what the place was like : The fungii on the tables in that classroom contradicted the Laws of Microbe Multiplication (If there’s something like that) because they had absolutely no place left to grow on.

But what the hell , we have mushroom soup for dinner. So my company and I took up these classes. We had one or two GDs every class and it always astonished me how people with whom Id been studying with (in IITM remember) had gathered so much information just for the sake of argument during GDs. Quoting one of them ” India has a GDP growth rate of 9.2 percent and an Inflation rate of 7.32% and a population growth rate of 1.606% and a fart rate of one in every pi/3.3* 10^-14 seconds” ( I had to google those to check up). The point is .. the topic had nothing to do with all this. Yet it made good talk and good presence.

All that apart, some GDs went well some went bad and by the end of it all I was excited about the Calls. Also, S.P.A.C.E had an all expenses paid 2 day workshop which I attended with a certain friend of mine… lets call him Deepak Venkatramani. I remember at one of those lectures, this prof from S.P.A.C.E says ” There was a guy last year, got all 6 X Calls, but could convert only one of them. He was really arrogant and God punished him [ :)] ” and my obvious reaction was thank god.. no offence Mr.Unknown… but it obviously felt like it must be really hard to screw it up.
This is the point where i realise that this blog entry is getting excruciatingly long. So, I attended the Interviews…6 of them. Each in Bangalore. Was a real headache to go from Trichy to that place …4 times !
And well, those faces that I saw across the interview tables came back to haunt me at many nightmares…some still do. There wer a few errors here and there, for example at X A , I had written my father’s annual income as 20000 instead of 2000000. But apart from that nothing went glaringly wrong either in the forms or at the interviews.

On the day the results came out, my dad was watching the TV, the daily astrologer show…and he supposedly said ” Vetri maela Vetri Varum”( Literally translated as : “Victory over Victory coming!”. And so it happened,
First Javagal Srinath came, Outswinger, Off stump out of the ground.

Then I thought Ill play second gadjee , Sourav Ganguly got my leg stump.

But I still stuck on…refused to give my bat away (It was the only bat and everyone started pulling for it). Then came the big blow. I was thinking Munaf Patel would bowl but Parthiv Patel took the ball and bam I missed the ball and it rolled slowly and got my middle stump. There were no bails left to fall of so I was given out .

I ran across to the other side because I noticed that the 3 wickets there were still standing.

Everyone wanted to bowl at me. But I said “One at a time please”
R.P.Singh snatched the ball off Praveen Kumars hand and bowled a yorker to get my leg stick followed by Sreesanth who got my middle.

There’s no current cricketer from MP that I know. So , lets just assume that I got hit wicket.

That meant all 6 down. Meanwhile, some Butt Naggers and Idly Rasams were scoring centuries at other grounds.

The point is (If you haven’t got it yet) I did not convert any of my Calls. The Worst part comes later , when everybody…people whom you’ve hardly even spoken to start giving advice. Things like “You’re voice is not loud enough” orr ” You probably would have put mokkai over there” orr ” You aren’t confident enough” orr ” You shouldve worn the right underwear”. It was irritating as hell.
One wonders: if it hadn’t happened, would it mean that my voice was loud, or that I don’t put mokkai? .. doubt it.

As the ancient Japanese Proverb goes
” Cho Cheeta Vohi Sikkandar
Cho Haara to us ke ***** ke andar” ( where ***** rhymes with land, or a mal pronounciation of aunt )

Good news is that its past me. Better news is that I can blog on something interesting now that the sequel is done. Phew !

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7 responses

10 06 2008
RR

dont like da mudd

u DID put mokkai there didnt you?

anyway all jokes aside , tension release etc… so now ATTACAAAK pussy 08 and then get kai then adichify kai …LOL

11 06 2008
akapfo

i find faults man…
1) you should have applied your stupid logic of copyright thing to the cities also man… i mean… be atleast consistent in being a moron… or a bad writer… whatever
2)The so called criticism from “unknown” ppl were actually statements made by many guys whom you knew/know “very very well”… im starting to wonder if your mokkai story or “duology” is a true story or just fiction man…

I ve said enough :).. sorry da.. im aspiring to be a critic… hope you dont mind.. you are irresistible man… in terms or criticizing.. but good man… hope more of this (…) comes out

11 06 2008
muddman

ALO …
1. I don understand what you mean by that. I used player names. And I said Madhya Pradesh and not the city.

2. I agree. 🙂 .. and duology n all !!.. studd

13 06 2008
akapfo

no da… you used trichy.. bangalore.. check over again..

thx for the compliment… coming from you… i know its from deep down man… btw…. Proko man.. (closed fists hitting the chests)… right here man.. right here… lol

16 06 2008
Hariharan Sriram

i shall make no attempt to be funny here.. the post will do.. awesome mudd!!

18 06 2008
the_ghost_of_christmas_past

muddish….my prophecy s gonna become true….
anyway…first thing i saw wen i opened the page was chuck norris…man thats too funny….i thought i wont regret opening the page cos i thought anytime i felt bored reading the post i cud go back to chuck….but honestly man…..u didnt give chuck a chance….

18 06 2008
muddman

@ghost : dude thanks a lot… n ive been tryin to figure out for a long time now… who are u??? 🙂

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