Muqablech : Part Deux

12 10 2008

In case you are not a regular reader of this blog, this is a continuation of Superhit Muqablech, and, I hate you.

N-1 . INDIwell, very much“, ” among the amit_123s and kids of ages 15-16 extremelyPOP

Yes, we are talking about India’s answer to 50 CentInde Cent. Item numbers in the rest of this post will refer to this genre, as opposed to what the counter boy enters into his device to obtain the price of an item.

This genre is not new. Meaning it is old. Meaning, ye ol parents and uncles and irritating aunts shant criticize my generation.(This is where Sachin puts his arm around me and says ” Our generation “, but I cut him short and say ” You wish!”).

Mr. HighlyCriticalAndAtTheSameTimeIncrediblyPissingOffUncle ( HCAATSTIPOU for short ):”Why do you say that it is not new?? Me thought Shilpa Shetty was the first one to be called an Item girl after that song from Shool? The kids these days, pah pah pah ! Abhishtu.“.

Mr. HighlyIntellectualChickMagnet ( Mudd for short) : ” I appreciate the general knowledge sir (restecp ! ). But just try and remember the days of your youth (yes, difficult,i agree), the movies that came out , remember ” Caravan ” or “Sholay” or “Namak Halal”? Helen, Parveen Babi??

HCAATSTIPOU : ” Yes, vaguely.” ( read: Duh dude, but I just don’t want to accept it because I know where you’re getting at and my argument would be compromised if I did)

Mudd: ” yes, you called them Cabaret performances and ‘fast forward songs‘ (a song which when appears from tape provokes an urge to press the >> button when family is around), but in essence there were skimpily clad women shaking booty (which is an approximate version of Wikipedia’s definiton of Item Number). AND YOU WATCHED IT – REPEATEDLY

Yes, it is old. But the term has now come to mean a larger range of songs : “The term ‘item number‘ has now been relaxed to include almost all upbeat dance numbers involving either a woman in skimpy clothing, or a “guest appearance” from a star who is only in the movie for the length of that song” (a wikiquote)
Even mainstream actresses and actors ( blech ! ) do Item Numbers. Or should I say the ladies who have done item numbers have gone on to become mainstream actresses. Eitherways, the genre has come and will stay on until Bollywood has some laws against bad music and limited clothing, which by recent trend, I do not see happening.
Just to make this post more appealing ( read: To appear on google’s search results for hot Raakhi Sawant Pics ( usually 0 results) or I like booty) , here are the leading ladies of this genre, I mean the videos. ( I do not know who sings for them, and frankly, few care)



Not too sure about the last guy, but I have definitely seen him in many such songs.

Note: The neck downs of these images are intended only for mature audiences. Knowing my readers inside out, I cropped them.

P.S : Not all item numbers are bad songs.

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5 responses

13 10 2008
Hariharan Sriram

I am sure you did maximum research for this post. Would have been better if you had let it “show” a bit more.

Inde-Cent!! Thale..

13 10 2008
Srikanth

Hilarious post da…

Going by your definition of item number, I guess the Indian batsmen are also doing item numbers on the field nowadays…

And some off the field too…

13 10 2008
muddman

@kuts
very correct, in fact i have done a lot more research that i did not use.. could not use rather. 🙂

@srikanth
t y 🙂 . N scantily clad Indian Batsmen is definitely not what I intended. But i totally agree wit the shaking booty bit.

13 10 2008
PK

you should write more frequently. Awesome read 🙂

25 11 2008
cherubic_chipmunk

Hilarious read! Roflmao…I dont really think u need pics of yana gupta et al 2 increase readership…De quality of posts speak 4 ’emselves…
Btw,item numbers have been existing ever since de awaara n kaagaz ke phool days in hindi cinema(Rem Helen gyrating to the beats?)
Our generation is no different in that aspect…But yea,ours will prolly b de first generation 2 do a dostana n it deserves lou(we)d applause 4 that!

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